And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
