so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Shame - the story of my life.
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