Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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