I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
