How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
