I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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