I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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