We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
