Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I will be naked everywhere
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
