You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
