# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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