It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
