im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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