On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My nipple is on Facebook.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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