D3 body, D1 cock
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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