Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dignity is for republicans.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
