awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
