I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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