yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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