Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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