bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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