i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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