Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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