Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
