remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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