oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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