is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
