That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
