what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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