i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So much Jack, so little girl.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
