I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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