we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
