oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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