never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
