I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
