I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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