I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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