omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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