anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
