I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
