Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Who died my cat blue again?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
