if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
