You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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