I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
