so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's never too late to be topless.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
