If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
