Ambien. No doubt about it.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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