i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
