yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize