I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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