Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
