By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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