Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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