writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
