just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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