Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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