Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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