good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
