my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize