Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize